The photo below came from the very first life sitting I ever did at the age of 35, and the words were from how I was feeling and what I hoped to achieve. The photo has been edited by me to give the image a different feel

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I have never been confident in the way my body looks. As you can see from the image above, I am skinny, ginger in colouring. I am not the “Normal” model artistic people use. Many images you will see of the male nude or clothed have the very distinct features. Chiselled jaw line, dark hair smooth bodies and of course muscles.

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The images that I grow up with were these stereo typical males, which for me, made me feel inadequate and very low body self-confidence, this wasn’t helped by being taunted through teenage years about being small, skinny and in the words of others ugly.

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My journey into modelling came very late in life, despite the fact I started contacting Artists and Photographers in my early teens. I always got the standard response, always polite but it was always a no “Thank you for getting in touch, but at this time you are unsuitable” I am currently not working on anything, but I will keep your details on file”

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The reason I wanted to get into life modelling was to promote body positivity and to show we are all different in the way our bodies look, we are all unique, we have the same parts (Depending on your sex). I listened to many friends who had hang ups in regards to how they looked, especially nude. One of the earlier pieces of work I created was called “Its ok to be different” This was to try and reflex that you don’t have to have rippling muscles to prove you are man.

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Just for today, is for me, the start of my modelling career and acceptance. This all came about after I saw an advert online by an artist who was looking for Male subjects for a life art study they were doing. To be honest, it had been so long since I had actually applied for anything, I was really unsure whether to apply or not, well, if you keep getting NO's it's so much easier not to bother.  I did apply and to be honest I was expecting the same standard reply that I had always received. “Thank you but no”

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To my surprise, I got a yes. After the exchange of emails and doing my own research into the artist work, we agreed a date for me to do my first ever sitting.

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Was I nervous? Yes. Did I feel confident? No. Did I find it a freeing experience? Yes. Was I glad that I went through with it? Yes. Would the artist ever us the images? Was the Artist happy with the out come from the sitting? Did the artist achieve the results they wanted?

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For me, it helped to prove that we are all different, and not everyone is just interested in the “Stereo typical male” image that is constantly forced upon us.

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I wish more photographers and artists would promote individuality, after all, we are not plastic, and don’t look like Sindy and Action man. Through the media of art and photography we can capture the beauty we all hold inside, it’s not just about the “casing” we come in.

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For me this was a positive experience, and reignited my passion.